That was the lowest point in my life. I owe all the glory to my Heavenly Father, for it was only Him that I was unable to lift my arms to reach for that gun between the mattresses. My arms were stuck, I didn’t understand then how that was possible but I just ended up passing out. Looking back I know exactly why I wasn’t able to.
Shortly after that my sons father passed away. It did something to me, I knew I had to do something. It was my responsibility to get it together for him. Kaleb, my son, looked at me and told me I needed help, along with many others. In the midst of everything he was going through he begged me to get help. He was 12 years old, and he didn’t deserve this. So I did, I went kicking and screaming the whole way, still not thinking it was gonna help because there was no hope for me.